Craig was 15 years old; a boy with little or no experience beyond his physically and emotionally deprived inner-city home - and this was not his first experience of residential care. However, he was initially disoriented by this new rural placement near the sea. He tried to cover this up with an urban swagger and unspoken aggression to go with his ‘hoody’ appearance. Still, the initial shock was there for all to see as he stared out of the window, looking across a green horizon, uninterrupted by streets and tall buildings.

The care system had not been good for Craig or he for it. He'd been through foster homes and children's homes, each with similar outcomes - exclusion following threats, damage, violence and a sneering intimidation that was his standard defence mechanism. There was no reason why he should expect any different from this placement. He would threaten and anxious staff would respond with counter-threats. He would then throw a chair or a fist and staff would restrain him - a feat often requiring three or four of them to do it safely and successfully - his considerable size and strength being a useful support to his already alienated personality. This cycle - Craig's life for more than three years - had the advantage of predictability and of keeping the world at a safe emotional distance. However, after the first few hours he was not so sure that this placement would be the same as the others. The quietness of the environment and the staff's deliberate, gentle way of speaking to him seemed to have opened a space up for Craig. Tentatively at first he stepped into it and began to share not just his anger, but some of its causes. Between the still regular outbursts of aggression came risk-filled confessionals. It was "...his Mum" "why had she chosen this new man over him? - her son, her own flesh and blood; her new husband?" - a man who beat her more often than not!

This boy (for all his size and aggression and street wise worldliness, this is what he still was) was confused, bewildered and hurting. He wanted to protect his mother, to love her, to care for her, to take revenge on the man who hurt her and had come between him and her. Yet rarely are such powerful emotions so straight forward or even consistent. Craig also hated his Mother. Most of all there was frustration and a sense of complete powerlessness over his own life. And because of her he was in a strange place with strange people with no chance of influencing anything. Recognising Craig's powerlessness as the cause of his anger and ‘hitting out’ was the beginning for the staff. His demands to "ring his f***ing Social Worker" and "get him out of this s**t-hole" made sense. Staff stayed focused on the cause of the turmoil patiently. Even when he threatened to stab a member of staff calmness and gentleness was the necessary response rather than to acquiesce to the numerous unreasonable demands or collude with aggression and unacceptable behaviour. Rather, it was essential to ensure staff were lined-up alongside Craig, rather than locking horns in a power struggle that no one would win.

It was during one of these outbursts of anger and threats that the first glimpses of the genuine, vulnerable Craig became evident. Turning away, from the confrontation to the window as much to hide tears in his eyes as anything, he cried out "Where is the City?" "Where is the City?" and this time chairs were just banged rather than thrown.

In real life a single cathartic moment does not undo a lifetime of emotional abuse and neglect. Staff still found themselves at the wrong end of Craig's anger. But now when Fire extinguishers were lifted as potential weapons, they were put down again when an emotional rather than physical response was offered.

The need to avoid physical restraint was explained to Craig. It had become his outlet. As long as staff intervened physically he did not have to take responsibility for his own behaviour, nor was there a chance he would manage any internalised controls.

Eventually a genuine relationship between Craig and the Registered Manager developed. As a consequence much of his anger was directed at her. Though the threats of violence diminished, the anger was still there, but it was invariably directed at property rather than people.

And so Craig talked about his experiences, including being restrained, arrested, and excluded. He'd felt he had no choice but to behave as he had. But here, where a choice had been made not to restrain him he began to see that if others could respond without aggression without being humiliated, perhaps he could do the same. Not that this was always easy. He would seethe with barely controlled rage if the manager was on the phone and not able to speak to him immediately. Barely controlled it may have been, but at least it was controlled.

The concept of choice was crucial to Craig's progress. Over time he began to comprehend what choice and self-determination meant for him and others around him. The staff could have restrained him. He acknowledged that there were many occasions in which they would have been justified. However, they had chosen not to; trusting instead he would find the inner resources to deal with his feelings. The feeling that he had been given genuine trust and respect was central to breaking the vicious circle of violence aggression, restraint and criminalisation. Craig was finally able to appreciate this. He was able to verbalise how much he'd learnt from this experience. He was also able to use his insights into his own behaviour and feelings, to reflect on his mothers choices.

While he did not like them and he continued to experience pain, he was able to understand that people do choose things that are not in their own interests. He was able to appreciate the personal benefits of accepting the respect and trust of others and reciprocating it. Ultimately it was talking through his feelings rather than acting on them that had made the difference.

Craig had experienced the world as a place that had no regard for him or his needs. Without aggression he'd felt no one would notice him at all. When he left St David's he'd come to realise that he was of value. The respect of others had given him self respect, self esteem and the belief he could make positive choices over the direction of his own life.

For reasons of confidentiality, and out of respect for the privacy and dignity of the children and young people concerned, names and other incidental details have been changed to obscure their identity. However, in all of the important details, these case studies are an actual summary of what happened. All imagery used has been created purely for artistic effect by Marlowe Child & Family Services Limited and is ©copyrighted by the owner.